Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Holiday Food Goodness

Posted: December 18, 2008 in Food, Rant
Holiday Froot Loops keep you awake.

Holiday Froot Loops keep you awake.

Do you like Froot Loops? I do.

Know what’s better than plain ‘ol Froot Loops? HOLIDAY FROOT LOOPS!!! Like the regular kind, but with barbs of encrusted sugar that rip into the top of your mouth and make it bleed. Yum.

And like a wolf that tastes its own blood while licking a razor-baited carcass, you won’t stop eating ’em either.
PLUSES
1 – Always on sale – you can get a monster box cheap – say $3.99
2 – Holiday Froot Loops only come in a monster box – that means at least 4 Dave-sized servings. Yay.
3 – Cheaper after the holidays.
4 – You get yummy, holiday, froot  infused milk left in the bowl when you’re done. Don’t worry – the blood swirls are yours.

MINUSES:
1 – Will hasten your inherited, onset, type-2 diabetes.
2 – Wakefulness and alertness ’til 3AM if eaten as a late night snack.
3 – Bloody diahhrea.
4 – Shredded skin in the upper mouth, also known as “car-wash mouth”.
4 – Should not be eaten if you are pregnant, or thinking of becoming pregnant. That would make you a bad mom.

I can’t say enough good things about this cereal. Thanks goes out to Kelloggs for making the already near-perfect cereal – Froot Loops – even better, with road salt sized “snow flake” sugar bits. I encourage you to buy a box and let me know what you think!